T9: Actions Based on Values
Virtual Coach
Work step-by-step through the Distress Tolerance exercise with the virtual coach.
Work step-by-step through the Distress Tolerance exercise with the virtual coach.
The concept of values and taking actions that align with your values can be incorporated into treatment and complement the overall goals of DBT. Exploring your values, setting goals that align with those values, and developing strategies to overcome barriers to living a life in accordance with your values supports overall life satisfaction.
Having a strong sense of purpose can make emotional distress more manageable. Living a fulfilled life based on the values that are most important to you can make the bumps along the road more tolerable. Imagine that you are having a situation of distress, but you know that tomorrow there is something you're really looking forward to doing - something meaningful to you. This can be different for everybody, some people value their relationships the most, others their work, their health, or their hobbies. This exercise will help you identify the aspect of your life that you value the most. After you do that, we'll work on finding concrete actions that you can do so that you live your life according to what you value the most.

Choose the three values that matter most to you and plan activities that express them.
Saved ✓There are more than three aspects in my life that I find important. So how should I choose?
Think about which one of the values gives you a sense of fulfillment the most. Try to remember what makes you feel more excited and what is more meaningful to you. You can also try to rate the values on a scale of 1 to 10, and then pick the top three ones. You can do this exercise again after a couple of months because maybe you will find that your interests have changed a little bit and that you want to explore another value.
What if I don't have enough time to commit myself to doing the activities based on the values I chose?
It is true that sometimes our days are too packed with obligations and things that we simply have to finish. However, try to think of an activity that won't take up much of your time and that you can realistically do. It doesn't have to be something big that you can't find the time to do. Instead, think of smaller and shorter activities that you can do perhaps from your own home. For example, if the value you chose to work on is socializing and friends, you might not be able to go out every night and have a fun night out with them, but perhaps you can be intentional about doing it once a week.
Since I've been depressed for some time now, I don't feel like doing any of these activities.
One of the most helpful things when you really don't feel like doing much is to start small and set realistic goals. Starting small can help with feeling a sense of accomplishment and build momentum over time. If you have a hard time choosing the values that are most important to you, look back and try to remember what was important to you in the past. Explore potential hobbies, interests, or social engagements you used to participate in. Then, choose a small activity that won't require much energy, try to complete it, and see if you enjoyed it more than you thought you would. Try to commit to engaging in these small activities, even if you don’t feel motivated to do so at first. Breaking the cycle of avoidance and withdrawal can be key to building momentum and kickstarting motivation.
If you have any behavioral health questions or concerns, please talk to your healthcare or mental health care provider. This article is supported by peer-reviewed research and information drawn from behavioral health societies and governmental agencies. However, it is not a substitute for professional behavioral health advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
My problem is that the things I value I don’t have in my life. Relationships fail, no job etc
ADMIN – Hey Anon, sorry to hear that! Lets see how we can improve the situation.
I think this exercise can be useful to you. Now that you have identified some things that are valuable to you (step 1), the next steps are to clarify why you value this, an the final step is to think about what actions are in line with your values.
If having relationships is an important value to you, write down why it is important to you, and what actions would be in line with that value?
If one of my values was to have a better relationship with my mother, then some actions that would be in line with that value would be going to visit her once a week, helping her with her grocery shopping, or staying away from certain topics when we talk.
To ADMIN —
You’re being condescending. Stop that.
Your excellent work brings hope in my life too 🙂
This is the first lesson I have found that did not have an associated video.
i think dbt should place more focus on this kind of thing, have a few lessons about it. i’m gen z and too many of my peers are disillusioned by the current world and feel extremely purposeless and directionless in life as well as apathetic. myself included, and depression certainly exacerbates this.
Well said!
First session which ive struggled with, without the video from Ally Olsen… I hope they appear later on again